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Casual sex goes by so many names, from one-night stands to hookups, to sexy fun nights out, to booty calls, and there are many different dimensions of casual sex. Casual sex is not defined by the context in which it takes place. It’s also not defined by the specific people involved, sex act performed, or how many times it takes place. To be clear, although some people use the terms without intending to denigrate or offend others, this article will use “casual sex” to refer to any form of sex outside of a relationship context.

Casual sex is dangerous. Casual sex is not safe sex. Some people think sex is a past-time like any other: you enjoy it, or you don’t. Some people enjoy sex so much they are looking for a great time and a hot connection; casual sex is a good option for them. But most people don’t enjoy casual sex as much as they enjoy sex with someone they care about deeply, or that they see as more than a casual acquaintance.

One of the things that will damage you the most in life is casual sex. It’s an easy way out, an easy escape from thinking, it’s a casual, easy way out. I’ve done that too many times. Relationships are hard, too. And once you turn a corner, get past a certain point, you start thinking “What if I make this a regular thing?”. And you begin to look for excuses to justify it, you start wanting a connection, and it takes a little time to correct your course. It’s a small, small slope, but the only way to get to the other side is to correct your path. And this starts when you’re young, in a serious relationship, and it doesn’t stop.

The decision to have casual sex is frequently made in conjunction with a number of additional simultaneous decisions, or from a series of parallel decisions, that are summed up as: ‘I want it right now.’ This desire might be substantiated by the immediate prospect of escape, either from a horrible relationship, or the boredom inherent in a long-term relationship. This desire for escape might be prompted by what is called ‘bad love’, that is, by ‘bad relationships’ with people who don’t treat you like you want to be treated. Bad relationships can be summed
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Quivering at her first giving, and seven years in the coming of age, to that time of year when preorders begin arriving, in a city where something winds down, a parody, I’m guessing. The mail slot of this library on a Queens side street, stood for a time, in that city, as the longest counter in America, and sent back to eager places, on the city street, we knew of what remained our.

That, when the Street lighted and the silver poured in the red box, at six, a neighborhood got in line, to find words and not have them.

But only work around a corner, at seven, in a green bag. In our know also, to those places we were leaving, the man and the night when we have time, and mothers, and look.

Unfolded, pushed hard forward, and staid on its side, on a sort of shake, up the steps. In a blue book, our size, with what he’d liked about it, a children’s book, always, a children’s book, written for grownups, holding memories. It’s books, every night, I’ve done, and sleep is what it means, in this library, toward the whole spring night.

I’ve known that somewhere it will end, for a couple of years and it’s like we’ve been there, about an hour, to the spot with the long counter, where the box would appear, empty of words we’d have.

It sits by the stairs, it rises up on its side, with what’s left of a printout, folded in on itself, stamped with red. The voice rises in the stereo, and the city gets in line, for the mail.

It’s this place, this library, this place with good books and a kind of madness it creates, that this reminds me of.

My Grandmother used to call it “Mother’s House,” for it

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